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Not a Princess, But a Queen: A Guide to Ruling

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We grew up watching Disney movies on VHS. Tales of adventure, fantasy, and- most of all- love. We couldn't have Barbie without Ken. We were princesses, and ruled the world with plastic scepters with stars on the end. But we quickly learned that marriages and relationships can break apart like a cookie you took out of the oven too soon. And the world became a bigger, darker place than we could have ever imagined. 


Three Loves

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There's an article about the "three loves" that we will have. Basically, the first love is with a person who looks right. Then there's the one that we wished were right. And lastly, the one that feels right. Perhaps for the most part, this article is spot on. Maybe it's because it doesn't ring true for me, but I don't agree with their statement. Because sometimes the second love ends up being the third love after all. As strong, independent women, maybe we don't have that many before we get it right. As humans capable of so much feeling and compassion, perhaps we have more than only three. Who are we to be defined by words writ in the water? Sometimes, it requires a considerable amount of patience before you find the one who complements you. 


Be Your Own Love

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I recently wrote an article that spoke about the importance of loving yourself. I cannot stress this enough. We should not be sitting idle, awaiting Prince Charming's arrival. Use this time to work on yourself. Focus on yourself. Watch yourself grow, make mistakes, and never stop encouraging yourself- especially when no one else will. Take time to learn a new language, recipe, or hobby. Never stop expanding all that you are. You are an astounding being, all by yourself, so embrace that knowledge. 


Be Open to Love 

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This does not necessarily mean romantic love. Learn to hear the voices of those around you. Begin listening to them. Sometimes, friends you've had for years have solid advice. It might not always be welcome, and it may not sound right, but it doesn't hurt to listen. If you're in a new relationship that makes your best friend wince, you might want to be open to her perspective. Dare to let people in. Especially the ones who care for you, and want the absolute best for you.

Be very slow to believe that you are wiser than all others; it is a fatal but common error.

Charles Caleb Colton


Supreme Love

Fox / via:
FX / via:

The thing about arranged marriages is that there isn't much choice in the matter. Person A gets stuck with Person B. And they have to work with what they've been given. Whether that means learning to love or growing to hate the other person for who they are. As someone once said, the person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself. You don't really have any say about it. So you should probably figure out who you're spending all that time with. A few months ago, a colleague told me I couldn't be a queen because I wasn't married. But I don't believe that. I believe I am far beyond just being a dainty little princess. It doesn't matter who is or isn't by my side. Just because I haven't any subjects, doesn't mean I can't be a queen in my own way. I've come to recognise that what I have been given is absolute fabulosity. And I can work with that. What have you been given?


As Valentine's Day approaches, I want to make something very clear. You are the first priority. Your health. Your happiness. Does that mean ordering 40 chicken nuggets to go? Do it. Does it mean watching The Notebook with your girl gang? Hell yeah. And if you have someone with you who loves you inside and out and is ready to celebrate this date, remember something else. You shouldn't treat this day so spectacular and special that every other one is mundane in comparison. Never stop taking your loved ones for granted. Every day should be full of love and beautiful moments. Not just a random Hallmark holiday.



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