Everywhere you look these days, chances are you are going to see a sexy bearded gentleman with shiny and luscious face fur. Beard grooming companies supply an arsenal of magic potions to pamper our grizzly men. Bearded men finally can not complain that their wives and girlfriends are taking forever to get ready for their date night, because chances are, we are sitting around waiting for them.
Hey Beards! If you are anything like my man beast, you take up to two hours getting ready for our dinner reservation. The shower ritual alone includes beard soap, beard wash, beard shampoo, and beard conditioner in addition to all the non beard related hygiene tasks. Then there is the hair dryer to keep that wild animal from getting too curly, god forbid. But all that heat has dried out your face trophy. Now it’s time for oils, butters, balms, and waxes. Not to mention all the choices when it comes to scents. Should it be minty, citrusy, or musky for tonight? 6 hours later, my boyfriend has about 5 beard grooming products on his face, and I ask myself a question. How do I feel about the products he’s using?
This question may sound self centered, but think about it! That beard is bigger than my whole entire face, and it is full of essential oils, waxes, and chemicals from all sort of botanicals and synthetics. I know he plans to have a high school make-out session that sends bats flying in my tummy, in the back seat of his car, before we go inside of the restaurant…
Back to my point. All of those products will be on or near my beardless face eventually. Will I break out? Can I feel the products on my skin? Do I like how they smell? Did he just mess up my makeup? All very important concerns of a pogonophile, I think.
So here it is: A review of beard grooming products from a beardless perspective. Beard products for her, so to speak. So many awesome companies hooked my beard and I up for this review, and we thank each and every one of them for their generosity. On any given day, our home smells like a forest, a tropical beach, or a spa. So thanks, dudes! Not all companies make or sent the same type of products, so I will review each company and the products of theirs that we have, and give each company an overall score based on a scale of beards. 1 beard means not a huge fan to 5 beards means their products are to die for.
I will also let you guys know my favorite scents if applicable. Enjoy!
These guys made us feel like it was Christmas all over again. Extra points for sending me a rad t-shirt! They sent me oils, balms, and conditioner to test out on my bearded lab rat. First, I must say, their conditioner in Cottage Country smells amazing; it isn’t too strong and does not clash with the other products used in my man’s routine. His beard already feels soft and fluffy before the oils and balms because of The Northern Beard Company’s conditioner. The beard oils are solid and do not transfer to my face too much. It hasn’t caused my skin to break out at all, which is a plus. The beard balm consistency reminds are more of a beard butter, but that’s probably because it’s a bit of both, a balm and a leave in conditioner. We tried out the balm in Group of Seven and it smelled pretty good! We sampled Superior Citrus, Alert, and Hundredth Meridian scented beard oils. All three were pleasant and not overpowering, but my personal favorite is Hundredth Meridian. Smells like an epic adventure.
When using only Northern Beard Co. products, my boyfriend’s beard looks tidy and tamed, smells nice, feels soft, stands up to makeouts, but my hands definitely feel oily after petting his beard.
5 out of 5 Beards
Joshua is a rad dude and hooked us up with beard balm, mustache wax, and also lip balm and tattoo paste. The lip balm has been a life saver during the winter and the hot summer, and goes on smooth. I prefer Drunken Sailor’s tattoo paste more than lotion because I feel like it locks in more moisture and absorbs into my skin better. The mustache wax is like armor for Matt’s stache. That thing isn’t going anywhere, but doesn’t feel crunchy or stiff. It smells refreshing and I love stealing little kisses just for a quick fix. Drunken Sailor beard balm is my absolute favorite scent out of any beard grooming product I have encountered. It’s woodsy, cozy, and burly. When he’s wearing it, he smells like home, I can also stroke his beard all day long and the product stays right on his beard where it belongs, and not on my hands or face.
4.5 out of 5 Beards
We opened a package that included bear oil, beard butter, and a shampoo sample, and we were very excited to test them out!I have to say right away, every scent for every product by Artius Man is addicting. We tried the beard oils in Citrus Spice, Citrus Fire, and Mountain Air. Basically the perfect autumn day full of fresh air, cinnamon, cloves, and subtle citrus zest in a bottle. This beard oil is a bit thicker than most beard oils, but it does not transfer to my face or hands too much, and seems to keep moisture locked into my man’s beard. We sampled the beard balm in Citrus Spice, and it did not clash with any of the other scents. The fragrances are so smooth. The balm is unnoticeable from my perspective, in the best kinds of ways. His beard looks and feels amazing, and I barely feel the balm. No clumps had to be picked out of the whiskers all day!
3 out of 5 Beards
I am a huge fan of the skin, hair, and cosmetic products by Miss Violet Lace. Using completely Vegan formulas, these products just feel so fresh and light. For this review, we tested the beard oil, beard serum, and the styling wax. The scents are very subtle, which is great if you are more sensitive to fragrance or can’t find products with a scent that you like. The beard oil is a bit thin and transfers to my skin very easily, but the ingredients are mainly botanicals, so my skin actually benefits from the beard oil! The beard serum has a pleasant consistency, a bit thicker than the beard oil. I think it makes his beard look worthy of a god, to be honest. It has a nice shine and will last the whole day.
I decided to throw this brand into the mix since their beard butter and beard wash are frequently used in our household. I have actually used their beard wash on my own hair because it smells delightful and makes my hair feel so soft, just like his beard. This wash is luckily available in stores so we never run out. The beard butter is great and my skin loves it, even though it definitely jumps from his beard to my amazing cheekbones during kiss attacks. Even during these attacks, it doesn’t ruin my makeup, it doesn’t make my face feel oily, and it doesn’t cause me to break out. Maestro’s Classic is always consistent and reliable.
I blame The Mod Cabin for making me downsize my makeup drawer to make more room for beard grooming products. They are so rad for basically giving us a lifetime supply of anything a bearded man could possibly need. We are so grateful for all of the swag! One product they sent us was new for my bearded man: Beard Soap Bars. Such a cool product to try. The three bars were Honeysuckle, Birch Tar, and Amber Resin. The soap scents are very strong. Birch Tar was a bit over the top for me, but Amber Resin made me swoon. I love how the soap lathers, and it is super fun to squish in his beard. The scent becomes more subtle as the day goes on, but definitely lasts until the evening. The Mod Cabin also sent seven scents of beard oils and five beard balms as well. Their beard oil has a great consistency, but does remove some of my makeup when we engage in extreme PDA. It also makes my sensitive skin break out a bit if I don't wipe the oils away with a cloth right away. Their beard balms have the perfect amount of fragrance. The balm feels a little thick for when i am stroking his beard, and I have had to pick out some clumpy bits throughout the day.
My favorite scent by The Mod Cabin is Sweetheart. I must say this brand has the most rugged fragrances. Appalachia comes to mind with all of their scents, even the softer ones like Sweetheart and Honeysuckle. The brand as a whole tends to have more potent scents than other brands, but I enjoy how long lasting their products are.
Uncut Beard Co. for Dollar Beard Club is one of the brands I encounter the most in the wild (a.k.a. at a Bar). So, the scents are super familiar, light, and pleasant. We have Sandlewood on our vanity, and I am definitely a fan. As much as I love the smell, their oil does give me break outs, unfortunately. It’s a decent product with manageable hold, but if my Beard is wearing their beard oil, we won’t be sucking face anytime soon. The beard balm on the other hand is great with my skin, It stays put, and doesn’t transfer to my face or hands. It makes his beard look so well groomed, too. The mustache wax is one of my favorites. It has excellent hold no matter how aggressively I kiss him or stroke his stache. It even withholds sandwich assaults. This brand is ok by me.
3.5 out of 5 Beards
This badass company knows what it means to have a beard. It’s not for the faint of heart by any means. Their beard oil gets the job done and keeps my man’s beard nice and hydrated. It never feels dry. The beard oil absorbed into his beard well, and doesn’t get on me too much from kissing and petting. The balm is a bit too flexible in my opinion. Some of the crazier hair break free after a while and I have to put them in their place. I can definitely feel the balm on my hands afterward, leaving an oily texture, but the scent of their products aren’t too strong for me.
So there you have it - Beard Products from her perspective. I hope this helps point you in the right direction when it comes to surprising your beard with a fine grooming regime. Leave a comment, letting me know what you think of these brands, other brands, or what your favorite products are!
Official BPD Vixen