For me, introversion and introspection walk hand in hand. I am constantly at home inside my mind wherever I physically remain. Sometimes, people ask me the same questions over and over again. I inwardly sigh, and mentally respond with a carefully thought out answer. What I choose to say out loud is a cropped version of whatever is going on in my head. Sometimes I don’t respond at all if I think it wouldn’t be worth my time. This may sound rude, but some of the things people say to me sound rude to me as well.
“You Can’t Possibly Hate Everybody…”
This is a painfully oblivious remark I have been known to get. I am known to make a vaguely tongue-in-cheek remark that I hate people. This is occasionally fuel to the dreadful debates. Suddenly “but you don’t hate So-And-So” or “so wait, do you hate me?” make their rounds. To be quite frank, I do not have the energy to expound. No, I do not actively hate everyone. I just prefer not being in their vicinity. Capiche?
“You Look So Bored.”
I have what some have referred to as “Resting Bitch Face” in the past. The reality is that not a lot of things excite me. That is not the same thing as being uninterested. Although, I do frequently find myself disinterested in the happenings around me. For instance, if someone jovially strolls into the office at work and begins to tell me about “something crazy that just happened,” the chances are very high that I won’t think it’s so crazy. I have specific tastes when it comes to dialogue topics. If it’s small talk disguised as verbal clickbait, I’ll pass.
“I Really Like That You’re So Honest.”
Are others not so honest? This seems exceedingly odd to me. I tend to veer away from nonsense or unnecessary topics, and so I’ll be more likely to cut straight to the chase. I do not decorate my words with glitter, nor do I sugarcoat anything. The quicker I can say something, and the less words I have to speak, the better it is for me. Sometimes, this can give the perception of being brutally honest. So be it.
"So What Do You Think?”
When I converse with someone, whether it is in person or not, I am simultaneously having another conversation in my head. In this other dialogue, I say something, and then I imagine three or more different responses. Most of these responses are very negative and undesirable. So I change what I had originally said (still inside my mind, mind you). I do this all rather quickly, but it’s still a bit of a back-and-forth dance. For instance, if I contemplate asking “Do you like blue?” I would then expect the person to reply with one of the following:
1. “Yes, of course I like blue! It’s a beautiful colour.”
2. “No, I can’t stand blue. It’s done nothing for me.”
3. “Why would you ask me that? I don’t really care about it either way.”
I would only pay attention to the fact that two outcomes of my currently nonexistent query could both be unsatisfactory. I then veer away from the original topic (still not posed verbally), and begin the whole process again. In my head.
“Quiet people have the loudest minds.”
― Stephen Hawking
“You Look So Bored.”
I have what some have referred to as “Resting Bitch Face” in the past. The reality is that not a lot of things excite me. That is not the same thing as being uninterested. Although, I do frequently find myself disinterested in the happenings around me. For instance, imagine someone jovially strolling into the office at work to tell me about “something crazy that just happened.” The chances are very high that I won’t think it’s so crazy. I have specific tastes when it comes to dialogue topics. If it’s small talk disguised as verbal clickbait, I’ll pass.
I am not a difficult creature to understand. Give me a bit of your patience, and I can be quite amiable. If you find my thoughts to resemble your own, or remind you of an introverted person you know, wonderful. I only hope that we can continue learning about each other. It makes it a lot easier to accept one another for who we are.