Movies, blankets, open bags of chips. These are some of the things I like to be around the most- all in the comfort of my own home. For hours. Without moving. Without speaking, whilst ignoring my phone. And I would do any of these things rather than hang out in a group with noisy people.
The titles below are all things that people have said to me, but I do not speak for anyone save myself. The thoughts I display in this article are specific to me, and me alone. Do not assume that all introverts will match up with the things I choose to write here.
“You Wanna Hang Out?"
Someone makes plans with me, and if the plans are not this exact day, I have no opposition to them. But this will change. I have my own routine with how I do things, and that routine involves me and me alone. If I have to leave my routine and interact with someone else for a period of time, I won’t be particularly keen on it. This is something I don’t think about when someone puts me on the spot to make plans. I accept without further speculation, because it is the polite thing to do. Cancelled plans are both the bane of my existence as well as my saviour (if the other person cancels before I do).
“But Why Don’t You Wanna Go? Do You Really Want to Just Sit At Home All Day?”I don’t want to go because the place you are envisioning shall have too many people. There will potentially be lots of people whom I have no wish of watching or hearing. It’s distracting, exhausting, and vexing. I can only deal with so much social stimulation a day, and I meet that mark by the end of my work day. So yes. Yes, I really do want to sit at home all day. I hope you have fun, though.
“Well, I Could Come Hang Out…”Please be aware that I find it extremely uncomfortable to respond to something like this. You are trying to invite yourself over to my safe place, my quiet space, my own personal corner of the world. If you come over, that means you are in my home and I thus have no mode of escape. If you come over, I am trapped wondering when you will leave from the moment you step foot in my abode. If my place is not to your liking, it will only add to my anxiety. My reactions will not be the same every time, it depends case-by-case. The more comfortable I am with you, the easier it will be to have you around. But either way, your presence is not something I want forced upon me. Think of me like a cat. If I want to be around you, I will find a way. If you don’t see me and can’t find me, don’t worry about it. I’ll come back around when I feel like it. This shouldn’t be something to take personally. It’s just how I work.
“I Never See You!”At work, I am found only in my work area. When I am finished with everything, I retire to my home. Nowhere in my schedule do I make a point to go out and socialise with friends and colleagues. This phenomenon is known to fascinate some rather outgoing people in my circle. “Wow, where do you disappear off to? I feel like I never see you!” Yes, I retreated from a social environment to maintain my sense of sanity and comfort. Thank you for noticing.
“I Didn’t Invite You Because I Knew You’d Say No.”
I have mixed feelings about this. My close friends have stopped extending invitations to any and all events. I don’t even know they’ve excluded me until after the occasion has already passed. On one hand, I appreciate their thoughtfulness. They knew I would decline their invitation, and thus released me from that pressure. But, especially if it is an important occasion, I would like the option of going. If it were up to me, I would prefer if someone invited me in a slightly different way. "Hey, I know you probably wouldn't want to come, but I'm gonna have some people come over later. You're welcome to come if you want. Think about it, okay?" Pressure relieved.
“You Look So Bored.”
I have what some have referred to as “Resting Bitch Face” in the past. The reality is that not a lot of things excite me. I frequently find myself disinterested in the happenings around me. Imagine if someone strolls into the office at work to tell me that “something crazy just happened.” The chances are very high that I won’t think it’s that crazy. I have specific tastes when it comes to dialogue topics. If it’s small talk disguised as verbal clickbait, I’ll pass.
Again, these are all comments that have been directly said to me. Perhaps they have been said to you too, and we can get together and have an introvert party.